A quick update

Well, I've been a bit relaxed about keeping updated on the blog recently. 

    On December 10th we received word that the appeals court upheld the termination of rights! We get to move forward with plans for adoption!

    On December 28th we got Pumpkin as a temporary placement. Oh what a dolly! And more curls for this mama to play with! She was placed more permanently with siblings this past weekend.

    Last week, we went to the WIC office to have the kids' files updated and begin receiving services again. And then we learned that Giggles has been being claimed in another state and 9 months of his services have been given to someone else! This was not a matter of mistaken identity, but rather a matter of stolen identity. I have been working for a week to proof that he never left this residence. 

    We've recently been granted ongoing respite services for the Littles! Can I just say how excited I am? I feel a bit guilty too, but I've been told to just be grateful and accept it. 

    That's what's going on here on the home front. 

Living in Limbo land

     Well, we've finally got some "answers" about Giggles' case. 

     The judges who review the appeal will be doing so and taking it into consideration on December 2, 2015. The decision could be made in one hour, or they could deliberate for many months. 

     The appeals judges look over the case "with a fine tooth comb" and make sure that everything in the process leading up to the termination of parental rights was done according to the laws that are written. They can decide to reopen the case and given parents a chance to work the case plan again and some more or they can decide that the decision made by our local judge stands. 

2 year anniversary

   Two years ago today a caseworker brought us a baby with a face only a mother could love (or so I'm told!) and I fell in love. 

    Over the last couple of years, that little boy has grown and changed (and maybe given me some gray hair!) and has become a valuable part of our family. 

    We recently had court, which I was supposed to attend telephonically but had technical issues. Luckily his attorney was texting me and keeping me in the loop. We have been named as Potential Permanent Placement (pending the appeal) and another court date has been set for December. IF (and that's a big if) the appeal process is finished and he's free for adoption, we MIGHT be able to officially call him ours before the new year! 

This kid gives me gray hair!

     A couple Saturdays ago, I had a new, terrifying experience.

     We've been staying out-of-state at my late grandfather's home. It is a nice sized home with a large yard (about 2 acres). The house is set back from highway (about 75 yards) and the out buildings are even farther back. The property is being prepared for sale so there are lots of relatives coming and going and doors and baby gates being left open while furniture is moved. 

     This particular Saturday morning my parents had been by and the kids went running outside to be near them. When they left, the kids wanted to continue playing outside. We stayed outside for a bit and then my 2 year old daughter needed a drink. I checked the location of all the kids, especially Giggles (CurlyTop). He was happily sitting on a inoperable riding lawn mower behind the garage. 

     I went inside leaving instruction with my 8 year old to keep an eye on the boys. Once inside I realized a diaper change was also in order so I did that. Then, while at the sink, I saw MsBrains (my 8 year old) quickly pass the window looking a bit frantic, as though she was chasing the little ones. When I turned to go outside she burst into the house! 

     "Mom! Giggles is out on the highway and there is a man stopped there!" 

     I hurried outside to see a man, with his pickup truck stopped on the road, standing in the road, talking (yelling) into the phone that "the idiot mother is on her way but you better send an officer out because the baby is obviously in danger"

    When I reached down to get him, Giggles happily raced around the pickup truck, thinking this was quite a fun game. I finally got him and stood waiting for the man to get off the phone. Instead he retreated to his pickup and raced away. 

     I went inside and called dispatch myself. The deputy came out and spoke with me. He didn't seem extremely concerned. I reported it to my licensing agent and DCS worker. Then, for a week, I couldn't sleep for fear that my baby would be taken over something like this. 

    I've never had a kid get out to the road.  What would you do? 

HUH?!?!

   Well, we called in for our CFT (Child, Family, Team planning teleconference) this morning. We expected a routine call; "please tell us a positive update about the child, do you have any concerns?, etcetera" 

   That happened. And then the worker from Department of Child Safety dropped a bomb. 

"The father has filed an appeal of the decision to terminate his parental rights."

It was as though the wind was sucked from my lungs in that moment. 

Now, we wait. 

Again.

More.

Are the winds of change blowing?

     The judges decision was to terminate parental rights. Father now has 2 1/2 months to appeal the decision. Meanwhile, we wait.

     I spoke with the new (as in 6th so far) Child Safety caseworker today. She will be coming to the home to meet him and us on Tuesday. There is still a chance that a family member will be approved to adopt this little guy. The thought makes me heart-sick. Can you imagine moving a 2 year old from the only family he knows simply because of a blood connection?    

     We will also begin adoption paperwork now. Once adoption placement is filed, it would take a court order to remove him from our home. It was comforting to hear that. Then, a minute later in the conversation she said that she's currently got 3 adoption cases in appeals. Yikes!!!

     So, currently, we are specifically praying that he will be a part of our forever family, forever. And that Mama will be allowed to take him out of state for 2 months in order to help prepare some family real estate for sale. That's way too long for Daddy to work and be a single parent. 

     It's difficult to remember that this is the baby that we were asked 3 times to take before conceding. Our lives would be so so different without him. Possibly calmer, cleaner, and more predictable. But also less exciting and missing something. We wouldn't have his twinkling mischievous eyes, his arms around the neck hugs, or his full-throttle way of life. 

Updates

   Well, Little Man moved out of state, back to where his parents are. We're hoping that he will do well there. I got a text from his grandmother saying that he had settled in and is doing well in school. 

   We had trial for Giggles on Feb 20th. At that time a "ruling" was set for April 9th, as well as a Report and Review Hearing for April 15th. Despite the fact that this was a termination of parental rights trial (TPR), no decision was made. 

  The attorneys made it sound like the judge would make a decision on April 9, but that day came and went with no word. On April 15th I went to court expecting an answer, and left with nohing. Except that, by law, the judge had until close of business today, April 21, to make a decision. At 5:05pm I texted the baby's attorney and was told that parental rights were terminated. 

   Now, parents can appeal the decision, but it's a lot of work. So, we'll continue waiting for the next step.   

Why do I want to cry?

   Our New Kid shall now be known as Little Old Man, Lil Man for short. 

    Today I had a parent conference with his teacher. I actually initiated it as I was guessing that she was going to suggest retaining him in Kindgergarten for a second year. 

     We spoke at length (over an hour) and I was right. She feels it would be best for him to repeat K next year. 

     I knew this was coming. I was prepared for it. I wanted it. I see the frustration level he's currently at.

     So why did I leave the parking lot feeling like I needed to cry? 

     My friend pointed out that I feel for him. I do. He's a smart kid! Unfortunately "the system" has taken it's toll on him. He's lost the progress that he had. 

    Now the difficulty is deciding what's best for the remainder of the year. Find a better suited program for him? Let him stay in this classroom and see how much he absorbs? Will he be "too smart" if we drop him to a K4 program? Will he get too frustrated if he stays where he is? It's too late in the school year for him to be pulled into the "intervention" program. Argh. This is so frustrating. I don't know the "right answer". 

He likes it!

I can always tell when Giggles likes his dinner. He licks his plate clean! 

New Kid on the Block

     Last week we added another kiddo to the crew. He's got sparkling eyes and an infectious grin. Tomorrow he "starts" Kindergarten for the 5th time this school year! 

      I haven't decided on his blog name yet. This child is a smart kid, but it is quite evident that there have been quite a few adults who have let him down, including previous foster families. Hopefully we are a good match for him. 

Prepare your surprised face!

Trial for Termination of Parental Rights has been continued/postponed!

We've had Giggles since August 2013. 

In April it was decided that the plan was to terminate parental rights. Because of a massive amount of cases on the court calendar trial was set for August 2014. We've now had a series of events to continue/postpone trial from August to October to November to Jan 2015. And I just received word that it has been continued again, date to be announced. 

We have discovered that in the foster world you can never expect a timeline. Things can move faster or slower, depending on things in the adult world. But, in reality, it won't change much for Giggles. He'll continue to live with the family he knows and follow his normal routine, not even realizing that his life is in limbo.

Skype

Have you ever seen a 1 year old Skype?

Well, I have now. During a CFT (Child Family Team meeting, everyone involved with the case calls in to discuss things) the father'a attorney pushed hard for Giggles and the father to Skype each other since Father is out-of-state. It is not required, but Father's attorney said "I'd hate to tell the judge that Reasonable Effort has not been met". It sounded like a threat to me, but I want to be able to stand before the judge knowing that everything has been done in order to try to reunify the family. 

However, in the 2 weeks that we've been skyping twice per week , Father has failed to call in twice! Of course I am keeping records, because I'm sure this will be discussed before the judge. But, it leaves me wondering. Is this a matter of "out of sight out of mind"? 

It just doesn't sit well with me. I was gone from home for 1 night and had to call home. Now, I talked to my eldest because she was still awake, (and I knew the Littles would be terrors to Grandma's phone!), but, if the only contact I had with my child was twice per week? I think I'd be sure to be available!

I guess we'll wait and see what happens!

Postponed

Well, there was supposed to be a termination of parental rights trial on August 12th. We got a letter in the mail a few days before saying "due to a court calendar conflict trial has been postponed" until the end of October. So, our bouncing baby boy is now over a year old, has not seen any biological family since early spring, and won't have permanency for more months. I guess we'll wait to see what happens. 

Case Plan Change!

     Friday we had court, again, for our little guy. It felt intensely emotional as I sat there and listened to each attorney lobby for what they felt was best.
     First the state (CPS) asking for a change in case plan to Severance and Adoption. The child has now been in care for over 6 months. During that time there have been multiple missed appointments by both parents, suspicion of drug use, inconsistent visitations and several new home addresses, and most recently a domestic violence charge.
     The Child's Attorney then agreed with the state and also asked for a case plan change.
    Mother's attorney began by telling the court that Mom's recent incarceration could be seen as a good thing, because it gives her a chance to work her case plan individually and she would like the court to give the parents 1-2 more months.
    Father's attorney also asked for 1-2 more months based on the fact that the parents are now separated and they should be able to individually prove themselves as fit parents. He went on to detail several reasons that Dad deserves more chances, such as his learning disability has prevented him from regulatory attending appointments and now his family is going to help him.
THEN it was time for them all to start over again. I just knew the judge was going to give them more time.
The State reminded that judge that recently we had a court hearing that the child attended and became quite inconsolable. The parents were not able to deal with it in a healthy manner and CPS had to step in.
The Child's attorney then reminded the judge that he had given a 30 day continuance last time in order for the parents to show a significant change in behavior.
I was waiting for one of the parent's attorney's to speak and the Judge suddenly said;
"The court finds it is in the best interest of the child to change the case plan to severance and adoption"
Now, we wait.

An interesting 2 years

What an interesting, and blessed!, 2 years that we've had. On June 5 we were called and asked if we were still interested in adopting a baby boy. We said yes, 2 weeks later we anxiously waited for the results of a Red File Meeting where 2 other families were discussed. We were chosen! We brought him Isaac on June 21,2012 and adopted him on November 17,2012. We've had a few short terms kids come and go, but on Feb 12,2013 I went to pick up a 1 month old baby girl. Over the course of time parental rights were severed and we adopted her on October 25,2013! We now only have one foster placement, a darling baby boy whom we will call Giggles for now. We've had him for a little over 2 months. Today I was informed that the case plan will be changed to severance and adoption. That doesn't mean a lot at this point. It means that the state is telling the parents that they are now setting a date to discuss terminating their rights. However, the parents have the opportunity to step up and prove their ability between now and then. Currently they have not done a good job of proving themselves. We will see what will come to fruition in a few months time. 

Quotes from MrBrawn

Last Sunday MrBrawn answered the phone when his mom called. She said, "hey baby, what are you doing?" He said, "Choosing a movie with my daddy." He was talking about my hubby, I just about melted.

Earlier in the day he was talking to a teenager from church who has 2 sets of parents. He said, "I have two mommies and two daddies too. I have Mommy S, Mommy M, Daddy D, and.....oh crud, I forgot the other one but I know I have another daddy." He forgot his bio dad's name.

On the way home from preschool I asked "What did you do today? Did you use the marker boards?" His response was priceless (and he obviously heard if from an adult), "Nope, I just farted around all day."

Facebook Status

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  Wallin Sara http://www.amazon.com/Family-Book-Advent-Pocket-Inspirations/dp/1609360133/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322970524&sr=8-1

  

  Family Book of Advent: Pocket Inspirations (Pocket Inspirations Books)

  www.amazon.com

  Remember the childhood excitement and joy of counting down the days until Christ...See More

  December 3, 2011 at 8:49pm ·  · 
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  Wallin Sara This is the book our Pastor's wife, Stephanie Wilson Short, gave us, but this particular wreath project was from OTC.

  December 3, 2011 at 8:49pm · 
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  Wallin Sara Stephanie Wilson Short, well, when we got to The Living Water she said, "glug, glug, glug, ahhhhh"...

  December 3, 2011 at 8:52pm · 
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  Stephanie Wilson Short sound effects keep it interesting

  December 3, 2011 at 9:21pm ·  ·  1
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  Ellen Staley lol

  December 3, 2011 at 10:04pm · 

Wallin Sara

Looks like MrMonkey has allergy induced asthma... Same exact symptoms as big sis had at this age... Strange...

 ·  · December 10, 2011 at 6:31am via mobile

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    Stephanie Wilson Short siblings--natural, fostered, adopted have a uncanny way of being like their family members they are close to. You and Daryl will grow to look like each other, then you all will look like your dogs.... Watching the moon--the cold is trigger my cough this am too. There are still persistent desert plants shedding their love around too.

    December 10, 2011 at 6:39am · 
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    Wallin Sara He just started whispering ... ” Daddy... Daddy...” I thought he was dreaming then he whispered ” Mommy, Daddy” I asked ” you want Daddy?” He nodded his head and whispered ” Daryl Daddy”. I asked ”you want Daryl Daddy?”
    ”Yeah ”

    December 10, 2011 at 6:52am ·  ·  1
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    Wallin Sara I agree Stephanie. It's because we're together so much we start to rub off on each other. I'm pretty sure the dog has learned to say ” NO!” from the kids.
    Stupid desert plants neec to stop sharing.

    December 10, 2011 at 6:55am · 

Wallin Sara

MrMonkey just came marching into the kitchen and said, "Mommy! Where's myDaryl Daddy?!" ...ahhh, it's the little things in life.... — with Daryl Staley.

 ·  · Tag Friends · December 13, 2011 at 1:56pm

• Ay Wallin, Ellen Staley and 2 others like this.
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    Andrea Campbell Gavin referred to his dad today as Daddy Campbell. He also dictated his letter to Santa starting with "Dear Santa Campbell". Can ya tell we have ben working on his full name lately???

    December 13, 2011 at 5:05pm ·  ·  1
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    Ay Wallin YAY! Very wonderful!

    December 14, 2011 at 9:45pm · 

Wallin Sara

While listening to our preschool songs, the song "this is the way we...." my daughter asks, "Mommy, what is iron our clothes?"
OOPS! I've been caught! I use a damp washcloth and the dryer...

 ·  · December 15, 2011 at 9:47am

• Ay Wallin, Michell Baker and Amy Weisman-Swinford like this.
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    Cathy Staley Dorsett What blows my mind is the kids not understanding "dial the phone"

    December 15, 2011 at 9:52am · 
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    Wallin Sara http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2011/

    

    The Mindset List: 2011 List

    www.beloit.edu

    December 15, 2011 at 9:56am ·  ·  1 · 
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    Jo Goss Wilcox Haha. Makes you feel old. What about typewriters instead of computers or Atari instead of Xbox or Wii

    December 15, 2011 at 10:55am · 
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    Ellen Staley I just happen to find my old typewriter, semi modern, in my closet.

    December 15, 2011 at 1:38pm · 
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    Ay Wallin love it! :)

    December 15, 2011 at 4:24pm · 

Wallin Sara

My kids crack me up! This morning MrBrawn announced that Uncle Lee would be arriving today in a rocket ship. Later, MrMonkey was sitting on the couch quoted, to no one particular, Train Your Dragon... ”Dragons always, always go for the kill.” Tonight, We took an adventure to get Uncle Lee from the airport. In Cal-Nev-Ari, I heard my daughter say ”Look! It's a village!” This after she quoted a Barbie movie to me, ”Are we there yet, we've been walking forever...” — withDaryl Staley and 4 others.

 ·  · Tag Friends · December 26, 2011 at 9:23pm via mobile

• Ellen Staley, Barbie Barrett and Ay Wallin like this.
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Wallin Sara

Funniest moment so far today, MrMonkey crawling along the floor, eating one cheerio at a time, in response to my request to "pick up your spilled cereal"

 ·  · January 1 at 10:20am

• Shawnie Dimick likes this.

Wallin Sara

Sneaked into the middle of MrMonkey's bedtime prayer ”and help Mama give me candy”...

 ·  · January 3 at 7:39pm via mobile

• Eileen Brandt Skillingstad, Stephanie Wilson Short, Ay Wallin and 4 otherslike this.
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    Arlington Brock Bible says you have not becouse you ask not

    January 3 at 8:17pm ·  ·  4

Wallin Sara

Big brother manipulation at it's best!
MrBrawn decided to play with MrMonkey's toy truck (they have the same one) and broke the wheel completely off. Brawn brought it to me to fix and I told him he was out of luck (not knowing it was not his truck). He said, "No, Monkey is out of luck." I told him that his brother was going to be upset when he realized that big brother broke his truck. He took the broken wheel to Monkey and said, "Look how cool this is! Now that it's not stuck on the truck you can roll it all the way across the floor! Isn't that cool!?" To which Monkey replied, starstruck, "yeah...cool..."
Brawn walks proudly over to me, "See, Mom, he's not upset, he thinks it's cool." — with Daryl Staley.

 ·  · Tag Friends · January 7 at 9:10am

• Andrea Campbell, Ben And-Kelly Owens, Ay Wallin and 2 others like this.
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    Tia Wallin luke says he has the makings of a manager already, i say best story ever

    January 7 at 9:13am · 
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    Ay Wallin we don't want a politician in the family!! But that is a good story! :)

    January 7 at 9:26am ·  ·  1
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    Arlington Brock So ice to an escimo

    January 7 at 9:45am · 
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    Ellen Staley Such a quick thinker . . .

    January 7 at 10:02am · 
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    Christy Olson Inion time to tell big brother he has to trade trucks with little bro! :-)

    January 7 at 10:30am ·  ·  3
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    Stephanie Wilson Short Your life will not be boring...keep an eagle eye on that one especially.

    January 7 at 12:55pm ·  ·  1
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    Wallin Sara The funniest part was 20 minutes later, I saw BIG BROTHER playing with the wheel!

    January 7 at 1:18pm ·  ·  2

Wallin Sara

We've been reminding the kids all weekend that this is a hotel, where people pay to sleep, so we need to be quiet when we walk in the hallway. This morning we stepped off the elevator and MrMonkey turns to me and whispers ”Mommy, we gotta be kiet, peoples are seeping” — with Daryl Staley.

 ·  · Share · Tag Friends · January 16 at 9:36am via mobile

• Stephanie Wilson Short, Ellen Staley, Eileen Brandt Skillingstad and 3 otherslike this.
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    Ay Wallin sweet!!

    January 16 at 10:30am · 

Wallin Sara

MsBrains quote of the day, ”Daddy, know why my tummy and his [MrBrawn] hurts? Cuz we got Grandpa Wallin's blood.” — with Ay Wallin.

 ·  · Share · Tag Friends · January 16 at 8:11pm via mobile

• Ay Wallin likes this.
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    Gina Padilla I told you she was gonna be JUST LIKE GABI!! LMAO Love that kid!!

    January 16 at 8:11pm · 
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    Ay Wallin Love it! LOL

Wallin Sara

MrBrawn's quote of the day ”Daddy, we need one of those!”, pointing at a 4-wheeler (quad) at Bass Pro.

 ·  · Share · January 16 at 8:22pm via mobile

• Gail Mary Troxler and Ay Wallin like this.

Wallin Sara

Conversation in Sam's Club:
MsBrains- ”Daddy, do we eat aminals?”
”yes”
”Are monkeys aminals?”
”Yes”
”So the question is......... Do we eat monkeys?” — with Daryl Staley.

 ·  · Share · Tag Friends · January 23 at 11:19am via mobile

• Crystal Larson, Ay Wallin and 2 others like this.
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    Gina Padilla If... Then... LOL

    January 23 at 11:20am · 
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    Tia Wallin lol

    January 23 at 11:32am · 
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    Arlington Brock Yes they tast like chicken

    January 23 at 12:23pm · 
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    Delete CommentMark as Spam

    Ay Wallin hope she won't eat Mr.Monkey! ;) so cute

    January 23 at 2:33pm ·